The Desire For Love Is Overwhelming

My only way to express myself yet again.

2012-01-18T08:51:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since my last post. So much have changed over the past two to three years. Recently, I had a quarrel with my girlfriend and this was the first serious quarrel we had in the past two years of our relationship. It has made me realised that I really love her so so much and just the thought of losing was too hard to bear. I have never ever been so serious about a girl before and I am so looking forward to spending the rest of life with her.

Things seem to be looking fairly good even though we had a quarrel, simply because we made up and everything was cleared. But only recently my girlfriend spoke to me about what her family thought about me. The comments made were mostly negative and only some were positive. In that moment, I was quite puzzled because I never knew that they actually felt that way about me. After thinking back, I knew why they felt that way but to me, I felt that whatever things I did was my own interest and I am just being myself. I am really clueless, should I just be the way I am or should I just simply stop doing the things so that I would not be judged.

I really love my girlfriend and I knows she loves me too. But I really don't want to put her in a spot whereby she got to explain to everyone. I know she is really frustrated with her job and I really don't want to add on to her burden. Maybe I should change for her to become the person that her family wants me to be. Hope I am doing the right thing.

Posted to 3SIB

2008-05-03T02:35:00.000-07:00

I have finally gotten over it le ... life has to go no matter wat .. anyway, i will be posted to 3SIB at bukit panjang next monday. I have totally no idea of what my life will be there, hopefully things will be better when i get over there.. So i have to clear my guardduty tom and wed other then tat i am off.. so if ur wanna hang out can just give me call... Cya pals..

Certified SAF Biker

2008-04-08T05:20:00.000-07:00

hahah... after 3 weeks plus of intense riding and studying .. finally i have passed my public road test and i will be going for my Island wide riding soon .. Kinda looking forward to it cause its a whole different feeling of riding on expressway although i am sad to say the speed limit is only 50km/hr but tat is crap, i definitely will go faster then tat .. muahaha .. Currently doing off road training .. its kinda tough but more exciting then normal circuit stuff, going through mud pool, steep slopes, pebble track, sand pit, and flying off small slope.. awesome man.. Tom going for off road riding at somewhere which i have no idea, so looking forward to it .. its just so sad that bike course is going to come to an end which is on this saturday and its back to bedok camp and STAY IN !!!! sigh............ but its just a matter of time that i get use to it again ... Soon i will only be free on weekends only ..

Still feelin down over my love life, but i am more or less more stable then the past few weeks.. Now all i want is just for her to be happy thats all .. whether i am with her or not .. yea i guess that will benefit both of us :)

Charlie Company = Shag

2007-12-29T15:44:00.000-08:00

ARMY

Finally after POP, I thought i would be able to slack ... but i guess i was wrong, cause i am being posted to CHARLIE company which has a very famous reputation in SISPEC. Luckily i have alot of my VIPER mates in my current platoon 3. I believe i will be able to conquer BSLC and move on to the next stage of army life. So I will try and motivate myself to do my best.

RELATIONSHIP

Regarding my relationship, honestly i was unable to put the whole relationship aside. Its simply too hard a thing to do, everytime when i have to think about stuff, i would unknownly think of the past which was filled with happiness and joy. However all these are gone because of the things i've done in the past, I can only live to regret. I realised how important you were in my life and all the sacrifices you have to make just to make me happy. Only until now that you are gone then I realised it, I really don't know if its too late for me to do anything but i just keep on trying. But now that i realised what i have lost, i will do anything it takes to make you trust me again and have the confidence you used to have in me in the past. Many people have told me to give up on you and just move on with my life, but i really cannot do it because i simply need you to be in my life and my heart will always be yours regardless whether you will come back to me or not, cause i really love you too much. I cannot blame it on anybody but myself, blame it on my childishness and stupidity for not being able to see how much you have done for me in the past. Letting you slip away is my biggest regret and i really hope i will have the chance to be with you again. I just can't live without you .. Life has no purpose without you in my heart. I guess thats how F*** up life is, only when you lose something/someone then you will learn to cherish it/her. If i could go back time, i would definetely not treat you the way i used to treat you last time. Nevertheless, no matter what your decision maybe, its your life and your choice, as long as you are happy then i am fine with it. Just give me a call when you want to talk about it, i will be waiting and looking forward to your call. Take Care.. Love YOu

PoP lo !!

2007-12-16T17:21:00.001-08:00

The day that i had been looking forward to has finally come, however i was rather reluctant to move on to my next stage of army life. Leaving behind the bond that i have with my platoon and bunk mates. Although everyone was happy to POP but i could tell that everyone has that look on their faces wondering what the next stage would be. Have to start all over again knowing new friends and commanders. One thing that i learnt in army, only when you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and push yourself then you will become a stronger person.

Having my block leave now, but i feel so lonely without her in my life. Everyday just spend time watching anime and chilling at home. So darn boring .... I think i shouldnt be giving her too much pressure and stuff, cause its rather irritating for her i guess. Perhaps i should just let things take its nature course, i really dunno what else i can do except giving her time and more time. This year would be a lonely christmas for me without you, miss all the fun we had for the past 3 years during christmas. Until this day, i have once stop regretting and feeling angry about myself for treating you the way i treated you. I miss you so so much ... my heart will always be yours to keep. Love you !!

Born Again !

2007-07-14T00:40:00.000-07:00

We have broken up ... after like 3 years ... I really dunno what will happen in the future.. We have come to an agreement that now is the best time of our life and we shouldnt commit so fast ... So perhaps that is a good thing ba .. She said that perhaps that after my ns and after her studies we will get back together .. But i really dunno what will happen 2 years later.. maybe she will change or maybe i will change ... nobody knows.. so lets juz see what will happen .... So starting from today onwards, i am a free man once again..

Party On People!

Boring Saturday :(

2007-07-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

Wat a boring saturday ... Woke up at 9, watched some tv and played psp till 12 plus .. As my parents were out marketing, i had to wait for them to buy me food..

Food arrived... Ate it all up and back to tv again.. but not for long cause i was asked to mop the floor, i dread mopping floor but i knew i had to, cause my siblings were all out .. so it boils down to me.. Darn !! Middle child suffers the most !! Mopping wasnt the end of it ... My mom told me to clear my cupboard which was like filled with lotsa unused clothing .. It was juz bad ... so i did a thorough cleaning of my cupboard .. threw all the old clothings away and wiped the cupboard.. Went to eat dinner and i was back doing my thing .. and finally around 8 plus i've done it ... so proud of myself .... haha !! took a cold shower and played some dota and wala .. here i am .. So thats my boring saturday .. OMG it seems like i am writing a compo..

Starting Work Tom

2007-07-05T08:27:00.001-07:00

Looks like i am going back to work tomorrow... Full Time 9-6 .. So there goes my life !! But for the sake of cash, i dun have a choice ... So i guess i could blog my working life before i enter NS .. So stay tuned People !!

I'm BACK !

2007-07-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

Time really flies .. In an blink of an eye, i've graduated .. Fast huh .. Currently waiting to NS on september 13th School 2. Gonna start work on this coming friday at Plaza By The Park until my NS.. It has been a long time since i blogged .. i even forgotten my password and stuff :) .. i was pulled back to blog because of a tag spotted by my beloved trisha .. I was like shock when she called me saying that someone left a love note in my blog.. i was like thinking " Wtf i so long never go in liaoz who will leave me a tag like this " so i replied and thought maybe i should start blogging again .. since i am so free all the time ... so guys i am back in action !!!!

Trip Cancelled !!!!

2006-07-24T19:51:00.000-07:00

No More Selangor Sianz....

The trip to Selangor, Malaysia is cancelled. The reason she gave us was we were rejected... But rejected ???? What izzit that we have not been doing ? Our team has put in so much effort in training, although we might not be able to win but at least we will still give our 110% to fight to the end. I was so looking forward to it, it would be so much fun... but now its all over. Fark this shit man ... I feel really disappointed not being able to go for the trip ...

Back To Work ....

2006-07-20T19:09:00.000-07:00

Drowsy ...

i am back in office again ... still kinda weak but still can manage ... Dunno if i will be fit for tomorrow's training, but tournament is nearing and i really want to make myself stronger in terms of fitness and skills. The damn medicine is making me so drowsy ..... finally i can swallow pills .. big size small size doesnt matter ... wat a satisfaction man .. Ur might find it funny or u muz thinking " big Fuck" , hhhahaha yea i noe its no big deal to people who could swallow pills since young but the thing is i had a phobia with swallowing pills since young ... so i tend to be very afraid of swallowing pills but now ... its nothing ... Wahahhahaha .... Hopefully i would be able to make it for training tom ... If i am not there, your muz train hard ya ... NO slacking unless i am there ... :)

Beaten By Sickness ....

2006-07-20T00:51:00.000-07:00

I'll Be Back On Sat ...

Damn fever .... Cause me to be so weak i cant even move around .... bones aching like lao ah pek like that ... rested for the the past 2 days ... Told Noor during training i falling sick le then he think i kidding then do all the multiples and see la sick liaoz ... But anyway not his fault ... haha cause of my bad reputation last time, so hard to believe me .. Guess i just didnt had enough sleep and water, so now i am going to be like my partner russell, sleep early .... hahah thats a compliment btw russell ... Good Job Guys Team, Attendance was very good for the first gym training held on wednesday.. too bad i couldnt make it ... But i will definitely be there next wed ... promise ! We shall train hard and be a strong team ya !!!! k la i ate alot of pills.. kinda tired .. take a nap le .. Take care ppl !!! MIss ya All ....

Badminto Trip To Selangor : Malaysia

2006-07-13T23:35:00.000-07:00

Confirmation Of Who Is Going

The trip to Selangor : Malaysia is from the 15th - 21th of August. It is an international badminton event, so i think it would be quite an experience for our team. We would be staying in Resorts, 3 person to a room and we would be sitting first class coach there .... Thus we would need to pay a sum of cash which is roughly 100-150 i think for the entire thingy. So tag my blog if interested ....

Additional GYM Training ..

2006-07-13T00:48:00.000-07:00

Increasing The Fitness Of The Team

Raymond and I have discussed about having an additional GYM training for the team, Most probably would be on either thursday or fridays. As we felt our team fitness is really very not very good compared to other polys so hopefully having additional GYM training would help us improve our fitness. So people give me your views on it ... This is for real ... Not Kidding..

A Love Poem ...

2006-07-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

You And I

You and I are connected

in a way that goes beyond romance,

beyond friendship,

beyond what we've ever had before.

It has defied time, distance,

and changes in ourselvesand in our lives.

It has defied every explanation.

Except one:Pure and simply, we're soul mates.

I can't explain, I just feel it.

It's there in the way my spirits liftwhenever we talk.

The sound of your voice brings me home,

in a way I can't explain.

It's in the delight I feel,

when we laughat exactly the same things.

When I'm with you,

it's like a tiny piece of the universeshifts into place.

A place it's supposed to be,

and all is right with the world.

These things and so many more,

have made me understandthat this is a once in a lifetime,

forever connection.

A connection that could only existbetween you and me.

And deep in my soul,

I know that our relationshipis a rare gift.

One that brings usextraordinary happinessall through our lives.

- Rayner Teng -

People Important Notice !

2006-07-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

1st:
Today shall be the day that all my worries and troubles come to an end. Life has a purpose all over again and hopefully this wonderful purpose would take us to the end of the world. I guess all of you should know what i mean, ya i patched with Trisha. However, I want to thank all my great friends out there who were there for me when i was down and cheer me up so THANX alot. After all that we have went through, we still end up together. Guess that is what you call FATE so I shall follow my destiny in life and hopefully things would turn out the way i want it to be.

2nd:
Training is at 6 pm tomorrow at school hall ... Late comers shall be severly punished by me myself and I. So Kindly be punctual.

A Sad Love Poem

2006-07-11T00:56:00.000-07:00

Although her beauty is in his grasp,He feigns for it no longer.

Her face no longer provokes her heart,Her touch no longer fits his pleasure.

His love for her slowly disintegrates…Slowly leaving in a silent death.

To her he must always be courteous,But who will be courteous to his heart?

Who will ease the hardest of the days?

Who will give life to his soul once more?

She once was the stars which lit the dark sky....

But now, he is left in the dark,Searching for that luminous hope.

Written: Rayner Teng

Mixed Feelings ....

2006-07-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

Love Is Complicated

Been feeling kinda depressed lately due to love problems, its like i am feeling so emo time and time again unknowingly. I thought that everything would be over when we break up but i was wrong, it was the beginning of more problems. I truly love this girl but i guess i will never be able to be in a long term relationship, cause i would take her for granted. Most people would say i am a bastard or whatsoever, i don't deny that i am but its like at least i did my very best in loving her. Future was really bleak to me, I knew that she was never meant for me to take care of her for the rest of her life. She would be better off without me i guess, i always thought that i would be a good bf but i realised that things were not meant to be. Perhaps i'll be better off being a single so that i would'nt have to hurt anyone. Love is so complicated, when you are being loved you would take her for granted but when you are not loved you craved for so much more love. I could never really understand what is love about even though i been through so many relationships. I wonder when would i be able to understand and realise true love. I guess i want all of these to end as it is tormenting me every single day of my life, i just want my life back but it all seems so hard .... From now on i would change myself inside out, I want people to see the different side of me.

Luckily i've friends who are always there for me whenver i needed them and they never fail to cheer me up with their lame jokes and games... i must say i am truely happy to have friends like them and thats all i can ask for. Thanks guys for being there for me ... Hope our friendship would last forever ... Or else i would throw all your names into my bottle of half-filled honey and store it in my closet ... Muahhahah* Evil Smirk !! If your don't understand what i am talking about can ask me personally.

Sweet Memories

2006-07-02T19:35:00.000-07:00

The Love has ended ...

Farking Busy recently ....

2006-06-26T23:14:00.000-07:00

ITALY WON !!!! OMG !!!!

Goal Scored by Totti: Penalty Kick(93mins)

Finally i am doing something in the company, tons and tons of work to do. Now i have to reach company by 8.30, no extremely long lunch break and worst of all i can only leave company at 6 !!! Omg compared to last time 4.30 .... SIANZ .... Recently i really have no time to blog.. so pardon me with the long update of my blog.... I am throw like so many projects but i am like stuck in all of them.. and its not because i dunno how to do but there are like so many freaking errors which i do not know how to debug or source file corrupted... Haiz.. kill me la !! Kinda tired these few days, sleep late wake up early, hate this kind of life man ... But anyway all these crap will be over soon i hope, and when its over LETS GO PARTY !!! Feel like going clubbing this week man ... anyone interested ?? Drop me a tag ya ... Bye... Off to work !

Party All Day Long

2006-06-18T23:07:00.000-07:00

Stay Over at Merv/Russ house

Time to take leave again, so i took wed,thur and friday !! Whaha song man ...

-Wednesday

Woke up and played Warcraft till like 5 before rushing to training .... I was quite reluctant to go but had no choice, cause i am the Capt of the team. So i dragged myself there, after that went for supper at Bedok 85 thanx to my GREAT PARTNER and D ger ... if u noe wat i mean ... No offence sarah ! But its russell birthday so never mind lo, Happy Birthday ya Partner ! Took bus home with Shu juan and her so called BESTIE .... sounds super girly man ...

-Thursday

Slept until quite late then went to my gf house to slack and watch DVDs, her brother like got tons and tons of DVDs... Then slept awhile then ate dinner at her house. After dinner, we watched tv, watching some chinese shows.. soon it was time to go and i left ...

-Friday

Packed my stuff and meet up with my gf for lunch at KFC .... Was suppose to meet mervy, russ, nat and xw at like 4 .... But they 4 still taking mrt from bedok !!!!!!! so went to starbucks to drink Rhamba... Wanted to drink ice mocha though ... Mocha ROCKX ! As time goes by, they finally arrived and went we went to cold storage to get the bbq food. After tat, Merv went to buy the super oily yet delicious bacon from Bakgua store... then meet up with Yu feng and we squeezed into merv's mum car then went to his house .... Went up to merv room and chill. We were all super lazy to set up the bbq, typical us ... but anyway our heroine/heroin i dunno how to spell !!! wahaha .. Lien and tansi had already set up the bbq when we were chilling... ( Thanx Lien and Tansi)

So everyone was bbqing and the food was not bad .... Thanx Aunty for ur BeeHOon .. The japanese chicken was the best .... After a few hours, everyone was stuffed with food and decided to call it a day and went up to the room to chill... Everybody took turns to bath and went to a empty room to play a game called " NEVER" .. so we drank vodka peach mix with ribena and again i was the bar tender ... think i put too much vodka in but who cares anyway .... After the game, sarah left and some of the guys went to merv room... leaving 3 guys and 4 girls in the room, so we decided to play HAI DAI, loser drink beer.. However, we wanted to drink the beer so we changed it to winner drink ... Haha ... after that i went to play warcraft ... while some of them were sleeping... suddenly the rest came in with a camera and wanted to take a group picture .... then the poor souls sleeping have to wake up juz to take pictures but i was playing game so i didnt join in ... after the photoshoot everyone slept except raymond , xiaowei and me... we were playing O2 jam .. haha I sUcked at it man ... my fingers are so darn retarded ....

Wah got so many things to write .... i lazy sia ... Tomorrow then cont ..

To be Continued ....

End Of The Story

2006-06-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry people, i have lost the feeling of continueing the story, so i would not be blogging anymore of that stuff... rather i would blog of my daily life ...

Friends Forever ...

2006-06-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

Chapter 6

-Friendship

So here i was, a broken-hearted guy feeling empty on the inside. Thankfully, had friends to keep me company throughout this period of time. Be it work friends or my buds ... Only then i realised the importance of friendship, soon i got to know almost the entire banquet colleagues. We would head down to katong mall after our work for billiard session or lan gaming and followed by a late night supper at the nearby 24 hour coffee shops. So it was quite fun to hang out with them, as we had the same interests.....

-A Change Of Heart ??

As usual it was another day of work at the hotel, i was so called the " Senior employee" as i had worked there the longest, all the rest were still new. So i had abit of authority assigned by my manager, became a miny supervisor myself, had a few people to assist me. It was quite fun to have people under as you can ask them do stuff that you needed to do like carry tables or whatever. So we were setting up for a wedding dinner at night, there would be more workers coming in at 6 before the dinner start hence we had to rush abit. Soon it was 6, the new batch of workers came, then suddenly i noticed a girl who is quite tall and really good features even though her figure is not that fantastic, but she still sort of attracted me ...

Hence i approached her, we hit it off and i took her number and after a few days we were sort of together .....

-Remorse & Regret

In the beginning of the relationship, i knew that this relationship wasn't going to last but somehow i just went ahead with it perhaps to numb myself. After a few weeks, my ex sms me to meet her as she needed to talk to me badly, hence i met up with her and talk to her for awhile. She told me that she missed me alot and wanted to patch with me, as i still had feelings for her, i told her to give me some time to break up with her.... However, everytime i saw her face, i couldnt bear to tell her... hence this dragged on for a period of time .... I told my ex about it and she was super devasted as she thought i would mean what i said and just break up with her ... In my heart, i was feeling super remorseful as i was not able to keep my words, i really regretted stepping into this new relationship. I felt really guilty as i knew it was my fault, i was like stuck in between and the feeling is not good at all, it was tearing me apart... However i knew that there was no future with my current gf hence i decided to break up with her and patch with my ex.... And so we were back together again ...

Stay Tune For Chapter 7

Bad Stuff ....

2006-06-04T19:20:00.000-07:00

Chapter 5

Today is Monday so here i am, blogging again, as you can observe my blog would only be updated when i am in the office working.

- Problems Surfacing

After a few months being together, i began to hang out more with my friends as i thought that there was mutual trust between us and so i presume that everything would be fine no matter what i do. Then one fine day, my buds asked me to go club with them, as i told them i was very keen in going club and to ask me to go if they were going. And so i went, the experience was just superb, the music, liquor, atmosphere and babes was just so perfect. It was damn fun.... I didnt realise that i was hooked to going club... soon i was asking people to go club except her, as i thought that club was more for friends get together and have fun rather then going there with my gf to dance... find it quite meaningless ... Everytime when i go club i would smoke a few sticks so as to get more kick without much effort so became quite a social smoker. I told her about it and she got really mad and upset, so i told her all right i will quit it for your sake. However, i was tempted time and time again. It was like no matter where i go, i would be able to get hold of cigarettes somehow if i wanted to... At times i would resist it but as time goes by i thought to myself : " Aiya 1 stick nia wont make any difference de la so nvm lo just smoke" ..... I dun understand why but everytime i smoke 1 stick i would surely tell her and she would get all upset and disappointed with me. I explained to her all the stuff but it was like bullshit to her and she just wanted me to stop smoking even if it was just 1 stick. Soon she also showed me the NO sign to go clubbing and stuff, i was really furious as friends plays an important part in my life... i felt like she was restricting me to do anything that i wanted to do, hence i was became very cold towards her as the anger in my heart was raging day by day ...

- Disagreements-->Anger-->Break

And so that unpredictable happened, one day we were in her room having a serious heart to heart talk as we both had our disagreements. Soon we started quarrelling and there seemed no other way to settle the problem as we both held firm to our stand... Then i said :" Since you are so unhappy with me then we might as well break up, perhaps you will be happier without me ...." and then i left the house and went home...

-Work And More Work

As it was during our sem holidays, i was very free so i decided to work. I went back to the hotel that i worked in during my holidays after my O'levels. In order to kill time, i was working like mad, became like a full timer there, and so i just work and work. That was how my life was, just work and work waiting for the new sem to start. I do not deny that i missed her alot at this period of time hence i just kept working to numb myself and stop myself from thinking about her.... I felt like a part of me was missing, felt so lonely and empty within me... Luckily, i had my buds and my working friends to accompany me or else i think i would have gone crazy ....

Wah write so long liaoz ... k la keep some for tomorrow !!

Stay tuned for Chap 6

Perserverance Pays Off

2006-05-31T18:40:00.000-07:00

Chapter 4

All right ... lets continue ...

- Rejection

After being rejected for the first time, i felt dejected. However, i told myself that i shouldnt give up so easily as it was the first time i was so crazy about girl compared to my previous girlfriends. Hence i decided to put in even more effort, hoping to make her change her mind. There were times whereby i keep asking her to be with me however to get rejected time and time again. She would even get so irritated and threatened to avoid me and stuff, i knew that i was indeed very thick-skinned and irritating but i couldnt help it... Life was super difficult for me at that point of time, it was like no matter what i do, i cant make her change her mind about being with me. Like i said, perserverance definitely pays off .... I continue to hang out with her and sometimes even with her friends and we would often hang out at plaza play pool .... But she would not play and just watch as she dunno how to play... Whereas for me I tried to amaze them with my skills of playing pool ( erm Being a little hao lian. Dun mind me ) hoping to leave a good impression. Indeed it worked, we started chatting and i got to know her friends closer...

*Piece of Advise: Getting to know the friends of the girl you like is EXTREMLY important as they play a big role in whether u would be with the girl or not .... ( May not work on all girls ) *

- Okay, lets be together

After a period of time, i was getting back the confidence that i was lacking initially. So one day, i decided to give me another shot.. Even though i was afraid i would be rejected, but i couldnt care less.

And the conversation started ....

Me: "Ger, We have been hanging together so long le, i dun wan to be just your friend u noe , i want to be your bf so that i can take care and love u forever...."

Ger: " i noe ... i also love you alot ..."

Me: " Really !!! then WILL YOU BE MY GF ?" ( Eyes shut ! Heart Stop ! )

Ger: " okie .... "

Me: " thank you ger, i promise i will love you forever de k ..."

End of conversation...

- Abundance of Joy

Finally after many months of trying, my efforts paid off. I suddenly felt that life was so meaningful, i was just so 0verjoyed. Perhaps this was the first time, i really fell in love with a ger.. Unlike the past, which was just puppy love. However when good things start coming, bad things will come too ......

So Stay Tune For Chapter 5

Parents Ask Me To Go Up The House

2006-05-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

Chapter 3

-First Time In Her House

So as usual i was sending her home one day, cant really remember which day was it. We were chatting downstairs as there was no Bangalas or chinaas around not long after that her mother called. She asked her where she was and told her that she was downstairs chatting with me, then the mother told her to ask me go up her house sit sit ... And thats how i went up, i was like thinking how cool was that man, parents ask me go her house, this is a chance i cant miss.... When i saw the parents for the first time, it was quite a weird feeling and abit scared cause they look quite dao. We went into the room to sit, so as to avoid seeing the parents... My first impression of the room was " wah so girly but very cosy and comfy". As it was getting late, i decided to go home and so i left....

-Urge To Tell Her My Feelings

So now there is no need for us to talk at her house downstairs, we would just go to her house straight to chill... As time passes, my feelings for her was super duper strong ... i wanted to take care of her and love her badly.... So there came a time when i was prepared to ask her to be my gf, i just madly in love .... One day, i decided to give it a go as i felt she felt the same way. So here i was sitting on the chair beside her bed, while she was sitting on her bed... so this was wat i said to her :

And the time has come ....

Me: "Ger, i have something important to ask you ..."
Girl: " yes ? what you wan to ask ?"

Me: " err... er... Can you be my gf ?" ( For your information, i was quite confident she would say yes ! )

Girl: " not now , i cant forget my ex-bf, as i am still hoping he would come back to me..."

Me: " oh, then nvm ba take it that i never asked." ( Heart Shatters...)

Girl: " Sorri k , i dont mean to hurt you ... "

Me: " its okay, i understand."

I left for home..

-Hurt And Heart- Broken

This period of time was the worst time of my life, whenever i thought of the answer she gave me, i cant help it but feel a sharp pain in my heart.... I started shutting myself in my room and only came out to eat, pee and shit... i was just so devasted, life at that time was so meaningless. I had lost all my motivation to do anything at all . At times when i was about sleep, i would think of her and unknowingly tears would trickle down my cheeks..... All these stuff only happens when i am at home, when i was with her i would put on a brave front as if nothing had happened. This went on for a while, however my love for her did not depreciate....

Continue to Stay tune for Chapter 4 ...

Exploration

2006-05-29T19:57:00.000-07:00

I was looking through russell's blog and i saw the restricted post thingy... and trisha was curious how to make it too... so i decided to explore it and so created this post for fun .... however the content is super funny so try to break the password .... but if anyone really muz know the password for any entries just contact me personally ... hahahahahahahaha !!!

Restricted Post --> Copyright of Russell's Blog

Chasing A Ger Is Never Easy ...

2006-05-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

Chapter 2

-A few days before school started

Days after the camp, as i was looking through my hp.. and i started browsing my hp contact list. When i saw the ger's number i thought to myself " she quite cute sia, quite hot also then look like guai guai de, sms her ba " and so i sent her a sms " hi Rayner here , ur camp mate, so wat u doin now ? i was bored so thought of smsing u " and that was my first sms to her. Soon after the smses never stopped, so i was smsing her everyday and soon lead to calling .... and i guess thats how our relationship grew much closer...

-School Started

I was thinking to myself " oh man school start liaoz, no more fun !! shit man ..... eh but like this i can meet that ger ger wat ... see stay sengkang can take bus home with her then go home ... Song ar !!!! " it so happened that for the first year, our timetable were quite similar even though we were from different school. i was in engine, she was in business but it didnt stop me as i knew that i had fallen for her .... So i started to sent her home almost everyday and spend most of time with her ... even if there were days whereby she ended really late while i ended early, i would go to library to take a nap then meet her and send her home. So at this point of time, i was really the 24hr guy on standby to talk to her or meet her.... I realised that i have gotten so crazy about this ger .... We really could click, it was like we could talk about crap the whole day and hang out together everyday and yet not get bored ... So everytime i sent her home, we would chat at her house downstairs voiddeck . However sometimes got bangala or chinaaaa there so must see my luck... So thats how our relationship together grew so much withina short period of time ....

Please Stay Tune To Next Chapter ... Do not Switch Channel !!!

In the Beginning Of My Story ....

2006-05-28T19:40:00.000-07:00

Chapter 1

It all started like this .......

Year 2003:

-History
Juz completed O' Levels with a farking lousy grade, so had to go a engineering course which happens to be InfoComm-Tech( IFC) at Temasek Poly. Thomas jio me go freshie camp see Mei Mei so i say okay lo steady.....

-Registration of Freshie Camp
So i was at sports hall to register, so i called thomas to ask him where he was. To my horror, HE WAS FARKING SLEEPING !!! nabei kanina..... so i was super sianz .. i thought since i was there might as well register lo...

-First Day Of Camp
In my mind, i was like " wah siao liao la, all alone sure damn sianz ...." so i was quite black face, furthermore was bastarded by THOMAS .... so we played ice-breaker, got to know a few camp mates. Then played a few games and soon it was night, i was thinking who to sleep with as i was all alone .... To my delight, i saw a few Montfort Friends, Raymond was one of them, so decided to bunk in with them. At this point of time, i still dint noticed any girls, juz browsing....

-Second Day Of Camp
Super tired, woke up damn early... played some games and soon it was night again. It was our free time, so i went out of the hall towards the tennis court for some fresh air... Alas, saw a camp mate standing there bai post... so i walk towards her and say :

And the conversation started.....
Me: " hello what are u doing out here ?"
Girl:" waiting for my daddy to fetch me home"
Me: "orh, okay lo .. can go home meh ?"
Girl:" dun care la, tomorrow morning then come"
Me:" okay, see you tomorrow"
End of Conversation....

And off she go..... i went to talk cock with my fellow Montfortians. Then after that, went to sleep.

-Last Day Of Camp
Tired again... wake up so early, then played games again ... seems like a routine but it was kinda fun.. by this time our group was very close. And all fun must come to an end, soon it was time to go home .. So everyone was exchanging numbers so i chap ji ka and exchange too... then i took the GER's number that i talk to last night and headed straight home.